Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Mirror of Self

"Do you feel the love that's falling from my eyes?
Just take a minute.
Come and rest here by my side.
Let me tell you your own story,
Let me walk you through your lies." ~Bliss~

It takes so much courage to look into the mirror of self. Have you ever stared into your own eyes (in the mirror) with the intention to accept, encourage and know yourself? It is often confronting & healing ~ unique for each person.

Every person, situation, circumstance and experience in our lives reflects a part of ourselves.

We laugh because we can relate to the story or situation unfolding, we cry because we can empathize with our friend's pain & remember our own personal hardship, we fight as a child with our siblings &/or parents because we're struggling with a part of ourselves that we see in them...we may continue to do so until we lovingly accept ourselves and the process within the lessons of life.

So many of my loved ones are going through hardship in one way or another we know, the Earth is too...which also reflects our values.

The lessons in life may seem insurmountable at the time ~ a whirlwind of confusion, heavy pain and negative mind chatter that consumes our being...a deep well of sadness & anxiety may exist that feels too far down to crawl out of. When we take time to truly remember that all difficult, challenging, painful experiences and relationships provide us with an opportunity to heal some part of our consciousness, we can then see through the disguise of the lesson and realise that it is a blessing ~ a reflection of our internal self.

Even though these difficulties seem to be external (happening to them) ~ situations that aren't in their control ~ I still believe that the way in which we react to situations holds the most important gift of reflection.

If we stay open-hearted/minded, our reactions & the triggers for our pain can be viewed by us from above. We can do this by looking at ourselves for a split second from a bird's eye view ~~~ Breathing ~~~ leaving the emotion to itself for a moment and taking an objective stance. Upon reflection we can identify the fact that those strong emotions are in fact, based on what we value most. They are strong indications of our deepest yearnings in life.

For example, if one is highly defensive in a discussion when the other is merely trying to communicate and understand a difficult situation, it's evident that the situation is a trigger. What is the underlying value in the discussion? Is it about unconditional love, trust, acceptance, openness, freedom, truth? Has a need to grow been identified in order to learn more about the lessons involved?

Look in the mirror. Maybe we might judge the times we focus on the weaknesses and shortcomings of others as a function of the shame, guilt and fear buried in our own internal landscape.

As we have free will, we can make choices about when, how and what tool to use to listen to our higher selves ~ to go through the process of reflection and action ~ to uncover and remember our true self amidst the chaos & beauty of life. We can meditate, write in a diary, reflect on our dreams, think about ways to honour our spirit and be the captain of our own strong ship in the storm.

We can learn how to ride the waves of life in our own unique way.

It is only through this process that we can fully embrace the gifts within the lessons by thinking about what we might need to give more attention to & also by making choices based on our values ~ then we can understand the battles inside and help others too.

Here's a core belief exercise by Iyanla Vanzant (Tapping the Power Within, p.g 130)

The following is a list of core belief phrases that have a strong and prevailing influence on our lives. Complete each of the phrases listed with your most authentic response ~ the first thought that comes to mind as soon as you read the phrase.

God/Higher Power is:
Life is:
Men are:
Women are:
Money is:
Work is:
Time is:
People are:
Sex is:
I am:
Children are:
Earth is:
Animals are:
Love is:
My purpose is:

This is a healing opportunity to do your best to tell the absolute truth. Resist the temptation to write what you think you should feel. You can use this to form the basis of a personal mission statement or simply to understand more about how your reactions to things, based on your values, shape and mold your life. Always remember that you are always 'enough' and you are worthy just the way you are.

Breathe deeply and begin within...

Love & joy